Professor Maggie McGonigle

For my People

While I lack professional photos, I do have this one of me dressed as Professor McGonigle on Halloween. I am actually a teacher, and ever since Maggie Smith played Minerva McGonagall in the Harry Potter movies, I have operated under the belief that she and I are soulmates. Unfortunately, my letter from Hogwarts seems to have gotten lost, and my life went down a different path.

Professionally, I teach English as a Second Language, and I absolutely love fumbling through this fascinating language with students from all over the world. Words are magic, you see, and they’ve gotten me through some of the worst of times, especially suicide widowhood.

I am a suicide widow, meaning I used to be married, but then my husband killed himself. It’s been a doozy, and I’ve got a lot to say about it, often even when I have zero desire to remember that this unfortunate thing happened in my life. Alas, talking about it helps.

Sharing my experience with others has been both cathartic and fulfilling. Connecting with fellow widowed folks and survivors of suicide loss, however morbid that may be, has become one of the greatest comforts in my life. In the early days of my loss, it was not in the platitudes of the well-intended non-grievers that I found comfort, but in the posts and blogs of others like myself. Their words provided validation, solace, and even a good laugh at times. I pass this on to my fellow grievers in the hopes that you are able to find meaning in my words and that they fill the voids you’ve not yet been able to express in language.

In addition, I am currently in my third year of the Master of Suicidology program at Griffith University, where I’m combining my lived experience with an academic foundation in all things related to suicide. Specifically, I am researching the lived experience of suicide grief in veterans. More news to come on that later this year!

*Disclaimer: I am not a clinician, nor do I hold any superhuman ability to prevent suicides. Suicides remain unpredictable, but they are often preventable. I’m happy to share information to support anyone in a suicidal crisis, or those who love someone in a suicidal crisis.

That said, I am well versed in much of what has been studied about suicide. I’m an excellent resource for those bereaved by suicide or widowed by other circumstances because I get it. It’s a freaking shitstorm at times, and it sucks. Sorry, it’s never going away. But things do shift, and there is comfort in knowing that others understand the unfathomable enormity of such a loss. I’m happy to be of support to my fellow grievers.